![]() Automatic cover pump to keep rainwater off the surface of your cover.Save money on chemicals, water and cleaning time.High-density polyethylene box housing for cover.Invisa-Rope™ that matches non-skid coping.This unit can be used with an 8′ diving board.This unit meets industry safety standards (ASTM-1346).Designed To Transfer Deck Weight To Vertical Wall & Anchor Stake.Nylon Bolt’s Automatically Self-Align To Help Join The Panels Together.Included Nylon Bolts Will Never Rust Or Rot.Polymer Is Lighter Weight Than Steel And Easy To Handle When Working Alone. ![]() Polymer Walls Will Never Rust, Rot Or Corrode.Turnbuckles Will Help Plumb Your Panels.Heavy Duty Steel Turnbuckle Adjustable FOB Braces.5″ Top and Bottom Flange For Added Strength.G235 Zinc Coated Steel Pool Wall Panels.So I sent him another text, which said what I really meant, and I tried to talk to him like I would a friend. I wanted to ask him how he was I wanted to be there for him in some way. But then, almost as soon as I sent it, it seemed completely pointless because I didn’t want to chat about the Kardashians. So I sent him a video from The Kardashians where Kourtney congratulates Kim on being able to make her own instant ramen. I would normally wait until the guy messaged me, but that felt stupid in light of everything. Both approaches are equally dehumanizing in a lot of ways. So much so that she has a new year’s resolution to make friends with a straight man. My friend is the opposite she always sees men as flawed, as weapons programmed to crush her sense of self, to hurt her. They’re not allowed to be weak or have problems they must be infallible or I lose interest. If the conversation is a bit flat, it’s because I wasn’t being exciting enough. If they make jokes I don’t find funny, it’s because I wasn’t smart enough to get them. They’re not people: they’re these magical, perfect things. Part of the problem is that I put men on pedestals. I don’t know why I find it so hard to be genuine with men, to express how I actually feel and allow them to do the same. Of course I have the ability to be there for him in the same way that I am for my friends, so why was I so hesitant? Irrespective of fancying him, this guy and I have spent enough time together now that I do actually care about him and want him to be happy and settled, and I don’t like the idea of him dealing with his family issues on his own. And I don’t get why I feel like everything has to be fun, why I move around parties like this crazed banshee who can’t find comfort anywhere. All it meant is that he saw me as someone he could trust. I don’t know why I thought it was such a bad thing that he wanted to talk to me. I wanted to know how he was today, whether he felt any better. What happened, the way he left, how I handled it when he opened up to me. I began to be able to think properly, which was nice at first, but then bad, because instead of focusing on my nausea, I thought about the night before: the rude things I said, the people whose names I forgot, and then the guy. I managed to eat some tomato pasta, then found this video of a guy who kept falling over in the mud that cheered me up. Thankfully, at about 6 pm I started to feel better. I can’t believe some people have to go through this every time they drink. I think we honestly need to have a national conversation about how bad being sick is. I drank some water but couldn’t keep it down, so spent the first part of the day-or afternoon (I woke up at 2 pm)-vomiting. My mouth tasted of something sweet and rotting and my face was swollen up like a pool float. When he came over, I pretended to barely notice him there, and when he said bye, I didn’t act like I cared at all. I learned into people’s ears to whisper and threw my head back and laughed at their responses. I spent the rest of the night not exactly ignoring him, but trying to demonstrate how great I am, how hard he should feel he needs to work for me. I wondered why he wasn’t trying to impress me, spinning me around on the dance floor and making me laugh with impressions of celebrities. I thought he owed me fun, that we weren’t on a level yet where he could dump his shit on me. I was annoyed after what happened with that guy.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. ArchivesCategories |